It’s been an ok week. Some days were bad, most days were good. How often have I always looked forward to the weekend, thinking I could use it for catching up with school-related work, and end up  getting close to nothing accomplished?

I just saw 50% of my weekend slip away from me yesterday. I woke very early to go to school for sports day and ended up wasting my whole morning there. I had to rush all the way home to practice with the piano accompanist, eat lunch quickly, then rush out again for TF outing. I didn’t waste my time there, but by the time I finally got home, it was 10 plus.

Today, wasn’t as bad, but I’d rate it at 60% of the Saturday rush.

Sigh. And by ranting here, I’ve wasted another 10 minutes.

This afternoon, I was thinking and it suddenly occurred to me – isn’t the somewhat consoling statement “There’s no right or wrong answer” so ironical? Think about it - is that supposed to be right or wrong?

Today was an incredibly long day. I think I start most of my posts with the word “Today”. Anyway…

I went down to MINDSville to help out for the Family Day for the children living in the hostel. My duties included marking attendance of the relatives and carrying out palm-printing. Mainly just helping out wherever I could.

While I marked the attendance of the family members and watched the families interact, I could tell that a number of families weren’t as complete, and some were a little complex. I was trying to imagine what it was like for parents who couldn’t live with their child. And siblings who had to deal with not having much opportunities to bond with their brother/sister.

I was quite impressed by the way the siblings who came cared for their sibling (you get what I mean..). Forgive me if this sounds harsh, but let’s say you are a younger sibling and your older sibling doesn’t quite act like an older sibling… Well, from what I saw, nevertheless, the younger siblings who came were really understanding and patient with their older brother/sister. I don’t know how to describe this impact on me in words, but what I saw was unforgettable.

Not all the children's’ families came. Though the children are intellectually disabled, they do have feelings. Some were visibly sad and angry that they’re parents didn’t come. Seeing them in that situation made me feel as helpless at times. During the sharing session, one of the teachers told the children they mustn't be angry with their parents. If they can do it, I’m sure everyone else can. This question came into my mind - How do you love someone who doesn’t seem to love you?

Ok Joycelyn, here’s your concert review. (Btw, what do you need it for?)

Today, I enjoyed an evening of music at the Victoria Concert Hall. The National University of Singapore Symphony Orchestra (NUSSO) held a concert entitled “Romantic Fantastique”. It featured music from the Romantic period from composers such as Tchaikovsky and Hector Berlioz.

What I fascinated me about the programme was that is was purely Romantic. More interestingly, two of the works played, Variations in a Rococo Theme and Symphonie Fantastic seemed to be like “autobiographies” of Tchaikovsky and Berlioz respectively. I was left in awe as I read the programme notes and listened to what I learnt in O level music come alive – through music. What I heard from Chor Kwan (she heard it from someone else) was that Variations on a Rococo Theme by Tchaikovsky was a reflection of his not-so-happy marriage life (my music classmates will be able to tell anyone the details of Tchaikovsky’s romantic side of life very confidently). Berlioz’s Symphonie Fantastic was a piece dedicated to a woman he loved, I think she’s called Harriet. The piece ends happily, although their real-life marriage didn’t. Now please ignore this whole paragraph because I think it has nothing to do with a concert review.

The concert had a great start. I’m sure the orchestra enjoyed playing the piece as much as i enjoyed listening to it. The lively and melodious passages were played with a noticeable sense of excitement. That positive energy was transferred, or rather, “radiated” (think transfer of energy) to the audience very effectively.

Next, Variations on a Rococo Theme by Tchaikovsky was played. The solo cellist played beautifully. Although she made a few slips while shifting (“leaping” would be a better description) positions. Other than the occasional inaccurate intonation, the piece was well thought-through. I liked the way the piece was interpreted. The orchestra did a good job of playing the role of accompanist. It managed to support the soloist throughout, although at one point, the balanced between both sides seemed, well.. unbalanced. The cellist was doing an impressive, super fast ascending scale. However, it was a pity all I could do was watch her fingers skilfully climb up the fingerboard. Perhaps the cellist wasn’t playing loudly enough, or the orchestra was too loud, or my ears are most probably to blame.

Finally, Symphonie Fantastic by Berlioz was performed. I admit I lost concentration at some points throughout the first few movements, but the sudden entrances of percussion or some fortissimo every now and then managed to perk me up a bit. I enjoyed the last two movements the most, partly because they were more energetic, and I was fascinated by the powerful brass passages. The orchestra also seemed to enjoy it more. I inferred that because the pieces were well played, very together and good intonation.

No performance can ever be perfect, but tonight was a very good attempt. Though some parts were not played together and there were some minor slips in intonation, the orchestra was otherwise near perfect. I especially admired the variation in dynamics the orchestra was able to achieve, as well as the unified phrasing.

Indeed, the Romantic Fantastique was fantastique!

(I’m regretted not picking up a programme booklet just now. I had to try hard to recall what I heard.. a sign of ageing)

Today, I went to help out at MINDSville@Napiri, at the Children’s Wing. MINDS stands for Movement for the Intellectually Disabled of Singapore. My aunt is the director of the children’s wing, so I asked if I could go there to help out. Today was my first time interacting with children with special needs.

We went on an excursion to Swire Marine Training Centre, originally a factory selling chicken feed. Today, it houses a ship. Well, kind of.  It’s a ship simulator. There are the various sections of the main control units in a ship, like the viewing room, control room, engine room and a deck where you can just get sea-sick watching the projections on the wall. The kids had a lot of fun controlling the “ship”. Thankfully, it can’t sink.

My job there was to be a photographer. Not that my photography skills are good or anything, but anyway.. I think it’s better I start out doing stuff like this because I don’t really have the social skills necessary to interact well with kids. For example, when some of them enthusiastically waved, held my hand and talked to me, I found it very hard to think of how to respond. I mean, I smiled and played with them a bit, but I wish I could do more for them.

One thing I learnt, apart from the usual “oh.. to start appreciating things around me”, was that what seems less significant to me may mean a whole lot more to someone else. In other words, I learnt to be more sensitive to the perspectives of others.

Let me explain. After half an hour of waiting for the children to put on their socks and shoes, we finally got onto the bus and were headed to the ship simulator. While on the bus, one girl suddenly exclaimed, “I am happy! I am happy!” When asked why she was was happy, she answered, “Because today I can outing!” This whole excursion thing didn’t seem like a big deal to me, but it was what the children had probably been looking forward to for a long time. Though it was a rather casual remark, it gave me something to think about for the rest of the bus ride.

In conclusion, today was an eye-opener.

The past few days have been quite miserable. On Friday, I accidentally bit the inner part of my lip twice and the ulcer only got worse. Eating, talking and even smiling is hard. My quality of life is suffering. Argh…

Violin exam is coming in slightly more than a month. It clashes with the WOW trip (overseas trip) so I decided to reschedule it a week earlier. But I suppose it’s ok.. Not like I can do much in a week anyway. I started working harder since yesterday because the exam suddenly seemed very near.

My worship leading on Sunday went pretty smoothly. I was also encouraged from the compliments I received. Not that I’m being ungrateful or anything, but I do wish people would give me advice for improvement too. I asked one lady who had just complimented me what I could improve on. She said she’d think about it, and till now I don’t know the answer.

March holidays are ending so soon…

Here's a picture taken by dad while we were at Crystal Jade on Saturday. The fish seemed very interested in looking at us. I found them quite friendly and potentially sociable. They're not like other aquatic animals that just ignore humans (and probably pass us off as aliens).

Can fish smile?

I’m ultra exhausted now, but since today was a rather significant day, I shall briefly record it.

Firstly, it was my first time leading worship during Sunday School. It’s quite different from leading during TF, mainly because I’m facing a much larger congregation of widely differing ages. I had to bear in mind the older folks while choosing songs so they wouldn’t feel too lost. It took me several hours just to plan the 20 minutes, from the power point to my script and rehearsing with Jean (who was also making her debut as pianist). In all, I think it went pretty well. I haven’t received negative feedback yet, though I’d most welcome it so I can improve for next week’s.

Second, I was pleasantly surprised today my grandma (maternal) suddenly introduced me to someone when I reached church this morning. That someone was May – the domestic helper my parents employed when I was a tiny kid. She was in Singapore for a few days. She looked after me for about 2 years, I think. According to mom, she helped out in our church while she was here. For example, she helped the kids section and introduced her church in Myanmar. There were tears running down her cheeks as she met Jean and I and asked us how we were doing. I found it weird that though we hadn’t met for 16 years (most of my short life), we were still able to talk smoothly.

Third, I went to bake brownies with half of my class for the overseas trip fund raising. We spent 6 hours baking laboriously in my classmate’s kitchen. It was like housewives’ training session there. It was quite fun and I managed to get to know most of them better.

What a day to remember.